“The next time you look into the mirror, try to let go of the storyline that says you’re too fat or too sallow, too ashy or too old, your eyes are too small or your nose too big; just look into the mirror and see your face. When the criticism drops away, what you will see then is just you, without judgment, and that is the first step towards transforming your experience of the world.” –Oprah Winfrey
This post is dedicated to the thoughts of “what if.” I find myself often having thoughts of “what if they see my thighs rub together”, “what if they see my stomach isn’t flat”, “what if they see that my stomach rolls over when I sit own”. If you don’t have these thoughts, then PLEASE share your secret! But if you are like me or us, you have questioned your self-worth based on the physical aspects of your body and how others perceive it. How unfair that we do this to ourselves!? Even tonight, when thinking about writing this post I find myself super aware of my stomach in my sweats. My stomach feels full from eating ice cream and tempura with my boyfriend to celebrate and treat ourselves to a nice date after he had a very important ceremony. I should be happy and content. Instead I find myself worrying about the scale and what this will do to my “weight-loss week”. But this should not be the case. We should be able to balance life and our mind/body while treating them both with care. So tonight (I hope you’ll join me) I am changing the words of my inner critic. She wants to say: “you’re fat”, “if you eat that you will gain weight and you will never end up losing it.” “If you eat that bad food you will become that food”, “you might as well just throw in the towel.” These were easy to write. Even easier to think. The negative phrases, the ones that knock you down, they just come so easy. But tonight, instead I am training my inner voice to be gentle. She is no longer controlling the dialogue. Tonight I am going to tell myself: “You had a great day celebrating with your boyfriend, you enjoyed the ice cream and the tempura, there is nothing else to do but keep on living. Tomorrow I will choose foods that will nourish my body. Tonight I am okay.” If you find yourself in this situation I hope you can be kind to yourself. It is much harder to be kind to ourselves, than it is to be kind to someone else. Yet at the end of the day we are the only ones who can build our own self-worth. So let’s give it a shot! Below are quotes I found that make me remember why I am on this journey. I hope some of them inspire you too!
*Notice the bolded words above, let’s aim to use these words more and bold them in our own inner thoughts. Kindness starts from within. Have you been kind to yourself today?
“What if you wake up some day, and you’re 65, or 75, and you never got your memoir or novel written; or you didn’t go swimming in warm pools and oceans all those years because your thighs were jiggly and you had a nice big comfortable tummy; or you were just so strung out on perfectionism and people-pleasing that you forgot to have a big juicy creative life, of imagination and radical silliness and staring off into space like when you were a kid? It’s going to break your heart. Don’t let this happen.” –Anne Lamott
“Your self-esteem won’t come from body parts. You need to step away from the mirror every once in a while, and look for another reflection, like the one in the eyes of the people who love you and admire you.” –Stacy London
“Stop worrying about whether you’re fat. You’re not fat. Or rather, you’re sometimes a little bit fat, but who gives a shit? There is nothing more boring and fruitless than a woman lamenting the fact her stomach is round. Feed yourself. Literally. The sort of people worthy of your love will love you more for this.” –Cheryl Strayed